It’s surreal to be here again, anticipating new life and embracing all the pregnancy and baby things once again.
Some unique facts about this pregnancy:
- This was a planned pregnancy. We had been praying about it for a number of years and trying for a few months before we found out we were expecting.
- This will be our biggest age gap, with 5+ years between Remi and this baby.
- Now that I’ve exceeded the ripe, old age of 35, this pregnancy is officially considered a “geriatric pregnancy.” Although I personally prefer the previously used term “Advanced maternal age.”
- When I became pregnant I was close to 2 years into a journey of hormone replacement therapy and have continued to take progesterone throughout the first trimester until this week.
- We don’t plan to have any other babies after this one, so I’m considering it my last.
In some ways this first trimester has seemed more miserable than in my past pregnancies. Fortunately I have the benefit of having documented those previous pregnancies well enough that I can go back and compare. I was surprised to find that I did in fact feel awful during all 3 previous first trimesters, writing things such as the following:
“…lots of exhaustion, constant nausea, the works. I would (and still often do) wake up feeling pretty good, but slowly decline throughout the day. By dinnertime I’m a wreck.”Belly Day // Sixteen Weeks
I can basically say the exact same thing this time! This first trimester has been characterized by frequently shifting food aversions (occasional cravings, but they haven’t been very strong or consistent), persistent fatigue, pretty gruesome nausea, murky mental states, emotional confusion, and accomplishing little more than simply surviving.
I started this year out with all kinds of plans to establish new, healthy habits and start accomplishing things I’ve put off. At the end of January I found out we were pregnant and all of that disappeared. Mostly I have just tried to keep my head above the surface, keeping up with the basics of getting the kids to and from school and scrounging up food and relying heavily on Steven’s incredible support.
Towards the end of the first trimester I began to taper off my doses of progesterone and as of today I am officially off of it completely! There has been a question of whether I should continue to take it throughout my pregnancy, but I felt that it was contributing to my muffled mental state and was eager to see how my body (and brain) would do without it. So far the process has indeed been accompanied by some increased mental clarity and I’m hopeful as the second trimester continues that everything will improve even more. I’ve had a few less desirable symptoms but it’s hard to say whether it’s related to the change in progesterone doses or simply due to pregnancy in general or even the weather, etc.
I have had more “good” days over the last few weeks and I’m hoping they become the norm as this new trimester continues. I’m starting to actually want to tackle the long list of projects and plans I hope to finish before baby arrives. We have had a bunch of house projects waiting in the wings and this pregnancy has put a fire under me to actually get them done. Please pray that I’ll have the energy and strength and mental acuity to make these plans a reality!
I also am going to try to do better at posting updates here and on Instagram. I always appreciate it later when I take the time to document my life.
Fun/Cheesy Update Survey
Baby’s Size | navel orange
Sleep | Since the very beginning of this pregnancy I have been dreaming basically non-stop! It seems as though I never sleep without dreaming. The dreams usually lack any trackable plot and are often mundane and maybe even frustrating. I’m hoping as my mood improves the quality of my dreams will, too! (Or that I’ll simply be able to sleep more without dreaming lol). Otherwise I get up 2-3 times a night to use the bathroom and feel well rested enough by morning. Although I have been taking a lot more naps this time around, I think. By the afternoon I am pooped.
Clothes | This has been a sore subject for me. Since it’s been over 5 years since my last pregnancy, I don’t have a lot of maternity clothes that I’ve kept. Plus my style has changed during that time. I’ve also gained weight very rapidly this pregnancy and already look very pregnant. I’ve been sad to find some of my favorite clothes no longer fitting, but assure myself that I’ll once again be able to wear them. In the meantime I have been slowly collecting some pieces that I’m hoping will cover the necessities. I’ve noticed that most of the maternity stores I relied upon in previous pregnancies no longer exist, and I’ve had to resort to more online shopping, which always feels risky since I can’t try things on. Just yesterday I bought a few things from shein and I’m really hoping I can have a more versatile maternity wardrobe that will sustain me through the summer.
Cravings | Near the beginning I was craving fat-heavy foods like croissants with butter and sausage cheese and did I say butter? I then had a few weeks where I was craving butter chicken. Some other cravings that have come and went include mushrooms, peanut butter, snack olives, Greek salad, and carrots. Currently when nothing else sounds good I can usually get excited about a steak quesadilla and nachos from Taco Bell. Also, eggs have been on the safe list the whole time.
Food Aversions | There have been a lot more of these than there have been cravings. Not always specific, but in general nothing sounds good most of the time. I haven’t been enjoying sugary treats much at all, which is borderline shocking. The only sweets I’ve enjoyed have been Trader Joe’s chocolate mini cones and only once in awhile. There have been a couple desserts I’ve had at church potlucks that I’ve liked, too, but far less than I normally do. Another sad and unexpected aversion has been seltzer water (Bubly, LaCroix, etc.). I used to drink 2-4 a day but very early on I discovered that when I drank them they increased my phlegm and nausea. In general I’ve struggled to want to drink anything. I stopped drinking my usual body armor and adrenal cocktails and managed to hydrate only by sipping on ice cold lemon water and the occasional pomegranate juice. Now I don’t want those either, but I’ve been able to tolerate plain old ice water better lately so I’m still staying hydrated.
Symptoms | Currently I think I’ve come down with a cold (or allergies) so it’s hard to tell what is from that or the pregnancy. But I have had occasional headaches lately as well as annoying phlegm that is worse at night. Also at night I begin to get a heartburn type feeling in my esophagus. I get pretty tired after lunch and 1/2 the time I end up taking a tap to make it through the rest of the day. I can feel those loose ligaments, too. Combined with the recent jump in my weight I think it’s making my joints and feet hurt more. I’ve had persistent round ligament pain and something that feels like mild cramping or Braxton hicks.
Doctor’s Appointment | I’ve had 2 already so far, the first at 8 weeks and the second at 12 weeks. They did sonograms at both appointments and it was SO exciting to see our little babe! My OB is tracking a rather large ovarian cyst that they saw as well, which is why they did a sono at 12 weeks. It had shrank a bit by the later appointment so we’re hoping it won’t be an issue going forward. Everything so far has been looking great at my appointments!
Weight | I added this category because I wish I had tracked it better during my previous pregnancies and because I am gaining very quickly this time and it has me kind of freaking out. lol. I don’t mind being transparent here, so I’m simply going to be sharing my total pregnancy weight gain here each week. So far this pregnancy I’ve gained 21 pounds. Eek.
Movement | No movement yet, but I’m excited for it!
Gender | This time we did the DNA blood test and got to find out early!!! We announced by video around 13 weeks and it’s a BOY!!!
Best moment of the week | Cleaning off my desk and clearing out some things out of my filing cabinet. Stepping outside on Tuesday into the 80+ degree weather.
What I miss | Enjoying my favorite foods. Wearing my favorite clothes. And strangely I have been really wanting alcoholic drinks, which I only consumed sparingly before anyway. lol.
What I’m looking forward to | I’m hoping now that I’m off the progesterone and creeping further into that 2nd trimester that I will grow in motivation, energy, excitement and appetite.
Curious? Here are my updates from my first two pregnancies for this week…
Miles: Baby Bump | 14 Weeks