September 2, 2010

silverdoves: Behind the Name

horse-silhouette-sunset-photo
One of the very first pictures I ever took when I began to fall in love with photography

In an effort to enlighten my audience about the many things that make up… me, I’ve decided it’s about time I explained where the name “silverdoves” came from.

It all began when I was dipping my toes into the enchanting possibilities of the world wide web. My daddy, who is one of the most brilliant and inspiring men I’ve ever known, suggested I have my own website so I could declare my crazy to the world! This was sometime during my first year studying Graphic Design at NRTC in Nevada, MO., where I had learned the basics of HTML coding and web design. The prospect of my very own webliscious outlet to make my own was intriguing. I began to think of all the many things I could put on my website and the how I could develope an entire online identity. But first, I had to choose a domain name.

I really hadn’t known what a task this would be. It seemed as though every domain name in the universe had been claimed. Since this could potentially be a monumental decision, I took some time to deliberate.

It was also around this time that I developed my love for writing poetry. During the ages of 16 and 17 I was writing an average of 3 poems per week. They may not have all been literary masterpieces, but it contributed to my self-discovery, playing a large part in defining who I was. I discovered I had favorite words, ones that would show up in my writing because I couldn’t seem to abandon them. Silver was one of these words. Perhaps it was the challenge of finding a rhyming counterpart, or it might have been that I liked the feeling of the sharp consonants on my tongue. It was therefore pretty well decided that whichever domain name I chose, it would have the word silver in it.

My daddy and I sat down and tested out some of the combinations of words I had decided sounded pretty rad. It’s surprising that I can’t remember now, but I had my heart settled on one particular phrase, a combination of silver and some other word (tears? rain? showers?) but it had been claimed by someone else who shared my opinion that it was awesome. One of my close seconds was silverdove, which to me symbolized a bright, Heavenly aura of mystery. When that, too was unavailable I added the “s” and gasped in delight when it showed as available. Something about it resounded in me and in that moment I took the name “silverdoves” and made it my own. It became my new email address, my screen name on every forum and website I joined and I began to identify with it. It essentially became the all-encompassing signature of ownership. It just seemed right that it would be what I called myself when I started promoting my creative endeavors.

This was just the beginning. What had first seemed like just a random and pretty-sounding combination of words began to take meaning beyond a simple phrase. Either before or right after I chose the name silverdoves, I wrote a poem called “A Silver Feather Falls” and while it didn’t actually use the term “silver doves” it did refer to them as if they were God’s way of telling us all there is still hope. It began to symbolize pure beauty and hope and God’s hand in making me who I am.

*Silver Feather Falls*

Flutter wings of Heaven’s doves
a silver feather falls
The wind – the hand that carries it,
beyond the darkest walls
through doors of opportunity
through windows built by prayer
seen by eyes that grief made blind
shaded by despair

surely such a miracle once graced an angel’s wings
how that this should come to me,
a treasure meant for kings?
To touch a silver feather
scatters worries far away
gently flutters to your feet
to sprinkle blessings as it may
when clouded days close in too tight
listen for the quiet calls
of fluttering wings, Heaven’s doves
as a silver feather falls.

Please forgive any excessive cheesiness in the poem above, I was only 16 and hadn’t yet discovered the freedom of non-rhyming poems. ☺

Then one day I was reading my Bible and came across a verse ending with “…the wings of a dove covered with silver, its pinions with shimmering gold.” {Psalm 68:13} I honestly wasn’t sure what this passage was referring to, but I hadn’t even considered that there was any previous relation between doves and silver. This felt like a divine revelation of some kind! ☺ Now I sometimes imagine that the name silverdoves is a kiss from God and as abstract as it may sound, it’s almost as though God planned it that way all along.

There have been times when I debated whether I should change the name silverdoves to something that better defines what I do, but I can’t seem to leave it now. It’s become a part of me and sometimes I forget the words ever were used apart.

———~oOo~———

The featured photo on this post was one of the very first images I ever photographed. I gasped when I saw what I’d captured and I became addicted to the feeling every since.

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